word

2009-10-14T12:45:00.001+08:00

if your heart is in two different places

141009

2009-10-14T01:59:00.001+08:00

shant we not take each other for granted?

141009

2009-02-14T22:42:00.002+08:00

kites flying high
in constant motion
kittens running low
around dogs in circles
in constant motion

blow wind blow
children's games,
memories of youth.

different endings
"choose your own novel"

140209

2009-01-25T02:19:00.002+08:00

excuses.
its fucking insulting.
and hurting.
dont feel alive anymore.

250109

2009-01-22T22:10:00.003+08:00

come one now
dont engage.
super cute eh no?
dont i need gifts?

nevermind.
i wont understand.

220109

2008-11-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

fix it
and
fix it right.

がんばります！

261108

2008-11-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

headaches
and,
heartaches.

241108

2008-11-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

do you?
as i you?

101108

2008-11-03T20:38:00.001+08:00

disappointment: something i do not wish to experience.
please?

031108

2008-11-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

why do you do this?
i dont want to fight.

021108

2008-11-02T12:29:00.002+08:00

ily
pamm

021108

2008-10-20T18:35:00.001+08:00

vagueness is scary.

201008

2008-10-17T15:11:00.001+08:00

all i needed was a hug
but was that even too much for you to give?

171008

2008-10-07T12:09:00.000+08:00

tolerance is a virtue.

071008

2008-10-02T13:18:00.000+08:00

i miss you,
like covered grass misses sunshine.

021008

2008-09-23T23:05:00.001+08:00

its not funny.

230908

2008-09-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

forever is a dream,
i wish to be reality,
with you.

190908

2008-09-15T17:43:00.001+08:00

fucking stressed.

150908

2008-09-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

before its too late,
take action.

120908

2008-09-09T12:31:00.000+08:00

66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 20 73 74 72 65 73 73 65 64 2e 20 69 6d 20 68 6f 70 69 6e 67 20 64 61 6d 6e 20 68 61 72 64 20 69 74 73 20 6f 6e 6c 79 20 77 68 61 74 20 69 74 20 69 73 20 6e 6f 77 2c 20 61 20 73 63 61 72 65 2e

090908

2008-09-05T23:29:00.000+08:00

surprise!
not.

050908

2008-09-04T12:59:00.000+08:00

"And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument."

most probably.
more possibilities.

040908

2008-09-02T20:18:00.001+08:00

<3

?

010908

020908

2008-08-27T18:10:00.000+08:00

take possession of what is yours.

270808

2008-08-25T21:04:00.000+08:00

thats the sound
of my heart beating
when i think
of you.

250808

2008-08-25T11:17:00.002+08:00

find a eternal rainfall.
*for ever apple rasin.

dont be angry, please?

250808

2008-08-21T20:23:00.001+08:00

we fit,
like thunder and lightning.

ily.
mtyci.

210808

2008-08-18T18:23:00.002+08:00

justice reigns, usually
ending percieved crime
according to a social standard
like the one in your hands
opposite of that, though
upsets do occur
so dont be too biased.

its not funny.

180808

2008-08-10T21:58:00.004+08:00

i feel the sting of your words.
and it hurts.
but whatelse can i say,
to defend my honour.
?

49 20 6c 6f 76 65 20 79 6f 75 2c 20 75 6e 65 78 70 72 65 73 73 61 62 6c 65 20 69 6e 20 77 6f 72 64 73 2e

who am i to you?
what am i to you?
but then again,
you 'dont care alr'.

)':
damn fucking insecure.
fcb.

why is love so difficult?

100808

2008-08-02T10:32:00.001+08:00

love in november,
seems heaven is yearning,
a new game.

020808

2008-07-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

well then
feels like there's a gap
and it has a name.

110708

2008-05-23T00:19:00.001+08:00

i wish you like me more.
as we hold hands down the beach
i wonder.

your words,
your actions.
what conflict!

distrust.

still, you're mine.
<3

230508

2008-05-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

i gave you my heart from the start
and never remembered to claim it back
(maybe i never it back.)
how many do you have kept buried?
somewhere forgotten and unwanted.

still, im content to let you have it.
though the void within me remains.

i count the years,
thirtieth day of the ninth month
marks the fourth year.

our fates do not meet
that i understand
yet, i think of what could have been
and the thread remains
unbroken, frayed, but there.

seeing you with her.
is like a knife through my heart
for you to say you love her
might as well drown me in acid.

truth is, i feel like an idiot.
undeniably so, i am one.
but im in love,
with someone i'll never have.

230508

2008-04-29T12:02:00.000+08:00

i stem from the roots
you water me down
we hold you close,
to the heart of desire.

you cannot get to me.
i reach out to hold.
slipping through my fingers.

we are still yet to be.

290408

2008-04-21T09:43:00.001+08:00

what you are to me:
Just a convinient warm body,
no more, much less.

Its been a long time.

Make the star queue!
but the event's over
I miss you.

210408

2008-01-27T19:38:00.000+08:00

i saw the dark grey sky

waited for it to rain
asked for an umbrella
newspaper i got instead
then it started to pour

the heavy drops of water
over my head it fell

standing there drenched
making my shirt see tru
only my bag was dry
keeping the handphone wet
electric shock i met

"i saw the clear blue sky"
dangerous random urges.

270108

2008-01-26T18:56:00.000+08:00

you took the first step
and held my hand

i took the second step
and shined the light

you took a third step
and led me on

i took the fourth step
and lost you in the crowd

what happened?

this is the last day
you stayed awake
pressing issues left behind
except the one last one.

260108

2007-12-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

long since the last
abandoned not this
fear not my child.

lack love,
shot inspiration.

yet now there's two.
plus one minus one.
i know what i want.

game of merry-go-round.

091207

2007-07-24T20:04:00.001+08:00

with a ginormous sigh.
is it even true?

no time no time.
there is nothing left,
but to study.
reluctance.
question?
give it up for the last lap.

and grow some balls.

240707

2007-06-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

turn the taps,
a gush of water,
penetrates through fingers.
personified in prose,
your call again.

this constant state of confusion
-stabs
is taking my life force from me
-bites

save me, oh brave one.
my 'love', my one of many.

call it the Queeen of Hearts.

190607

2007-06-04T14:24:00.001+08:00

subjugate you to my will

Sunshine, stay with me please?

040607

2007-05-13T14:51:00.000+08:00

when jealousy rears its ugly head,
and hate starts to take place.

that how you know when.

130507

2007-05-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

fuckfuckfuck.
emo attack.

2007-05-05T20:06:00.000+08:00

when jealousy rears its ugly head,
and the green monster grows horns,
the time of indecision and misdenemours,
its lucid nature turns and spins.

to creep and crawl,
sneaky methods to unveil,
its no harm to you but me,
say hello to cracken.

that roar resonates in the brain,
but registers not its actuality,
gives stoned another meaning,
takes over your entire being.

stalking and restraint orders,
dope another child to follow you,
fixes another meaning to crazed,
alas it is just another rejection.

all in all.

050507

2007-04-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

You don't know how much you make me smile
(yes, its you, sunshine)

in reference to more than one.

kismet
carven
astute
comets
summer

callen
queens
healed

your vocabulary words for tomorrow.

two years and seven months,
zero days and counting.

still fending questions of if i do.
and yes i do.

but lets make way for someone new.
give another a chance.

290407

2007-04-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

kismet, in two days
sleepy, take it down
urges, find a thread

a golden ribbon.
you're blue and pink,
thats my whole world.

dread
excitement
forlorn
company

this is fake.

140407

2007-04-12T23:10:00.001+08:00

tired, and missing you.
but i've someone new.

not.

maybe.

perhaps.

120407

2007-04-08T12:54:00.000+08:00

away till later
all's good, i guess
its easier to jump
over the moon
was pushed over a sun
dont come back
broken bits dont fix

080407

2007-03-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

i went out with him,
but kept thinking of you.

can we try again?
take it from the top?
give me another chance?

or just give me something,
to stop the tears.
she says you're in pain too. are you?
Fuck you, sandra.

140307

2007-03-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

'its YOU.
not me.'

ouch?

060307

2007-03-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

what do you expect me to say?
nothing.
and thats a problem right there.
never ever and not maybe later.

the first in a very long time.
yet, its followed the standard.

hi! may i help you?
life surprises you sometimes.

040307

2007-02-23T21:42:00.000+08:00

it is, something unexpected alright.
heh.

did you get the tone correct?
something unexpected all,right.

did you?

230207

2007-02-19T22:00:00.000+08:00

same issue
one sided spinny magic
circumvent, skirt, aviod
where's the you
the one i fell for?

heyhey. its attack of
the over emo-ness.
enjoy.

190207

2007-02-16T23:44:00.000+08:00

on the verge of tears
so?
give me a call please
no.

meet me tomorrow noon
refuse.

just drop it like its hot
you did follow.
its no longer an act,
now its just pure; raw.

taking it all
another misdeed
pressure point
pop! goes the weasel.
your denial stings.

huh?

160207

2007-01-28T20:05:00.000+08:00

100 thoughts

the myrid of emotions
drip drop drip drop
it seems somewhat repeated
like an exile from them

its a given feeling
but not much is taken
the deciever is decieved
where's the precious balance?

life is like music
there's lines and notes
there's lyrics and chords
but we only want the tune

the scales are tilted
towards the moonlight sun
the pebbled sidewalk
dont trip on your words

its a confusion out there
presented with too many choices
a mistake causes regret
take all and risk one

its all about face
one wrong move
you're out of the race
the fatality of it all

with all the fantasy
the pictures of you and i
the future seems beautiful
but circumstances bleak

take a note from his book
be careful around yourself
but not warrented
it was not their right

there's a sign for everything
apparently for you too
obviousity is not your humor
the irony of your timidity

its the weekends again
you win two out of seven
pathetic amounts as compared
give or take a few

nine months is a long time
a whole confinement period
it seems wrong to miss you
it can be helped

im tired, get to the point.
i cant decide
and cirumstances are pressing.
any advice?

a commoration for my post 100

280107

2007-01-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

guess again.
is it all a lie?
or is it real?

if you give a mile
is it an inch for your taking?

confusion.
like bad blend of colors.
reality.
like ice water on your feet.
vocalised.
like a staple bullet-ed finger.

be a hero. join the army.
where's my muse?

140107

2007-01-07T16:54:00.000+08:00

cant stand you.
im oscar awards worthy.

070107

2006-12-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

oh my love
please dont cry
i'll wash my bloody hands and
we

oh whatevs.

291206

2006-12-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

i will love you till,
the sun burns out.

will you be my you?

huh?

im missing,
one too many.

its a long wait to the weekend.
hurry back.

psst this is what you call,
a confused kid.

on a side note, merry christmas!

271206

2006-12-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

this was a mistake.
this is a mistake.
that was a mistake.

same difference.

its wrong,
that you make my heart race.
that you make me forget him.
its wrong,
that you leave me confused.
that you leave me stranded.
its wrong,
that you want nothing more.
that you want a part of me.

talk about confusing.
this is an understatement.
get a grip, sandra!

151206

2006-12-14T20:34:00.000+08:00

one little
two little
three little conflicts
four little
five little
six little messes
seven little
eight little
nine little headaches
ten problems for sandra.

141206

2006-11-28T21:03:00.000+08:00

give me that nudge.
round and round.
but we're back to the same spot,
yet again.

281106

2006-11-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

passing emotions.
lingers on obsession.
fading dreams.
whisps of memories.

how fickle.

taste the freedom.

201106

2006-11-12T23:00:00.000+08:00

emit, mercy!
power, oblivious.
retain, interest!
opposite, brashness.
love always, zoerm entirely.

-

2006-11-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

why cant life be less complicating?
like,
abc or 123.
no hope doesnt mean no feeling.
three situations.
sheesh.

what's your criteria?

121106

2006-11-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

is there a possiblity?
a spark?
16
feel that beat skipped.
it makes me smile.

and for you bastard.
i wish i realised earlier.
but i'll just leave it be.
and take it as,
a lesson learnt.

071106

2006-11-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

Justify!
actulize!
verify!
initiate!
emplify!
retribute!

Jump! acute veins in eastern ruins.
Dedicate error, concede inside death's emblishments?

031106

2006-11-02T21:22:00.000+08:00

makes you wonder, doesnt it?

021106

2006-10-31T23:27:00.000+08:00

check the stockroom
house a goat
udders of a cow
another timeslot

allocate your time
leave it be now
visit a hospice
interest will accumulate
nothing is sane

eh,
perhaps,
we'll see your
genius.

-

2006-10-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

if i could,
i would,
given the chance,
stare in your eyes,
hold your hand in the dark.
for hours on end.
1,3,5. 2,4,6.

its still a tough fight
twentyfive or twentynine

so do you know?
its spelled
step up, making a move.
so?

311006

2006-10-30T20:40:00.000+08:00

the soft curl of white
blends with the haze.

step aside while you puke
its the drinks i tell you!

disappointing, still.
but i'll give you a sticker.

its 25/29?
eh how lei.

301006

2006-10-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

you're and integral part of my life which cannot be differentiated out.

one too many for you.
pulling a stunner again today?

pulsate to MY beat.

271006

2006-10-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

no feeling from you.
too much from me.
single sided.

stop pulling your stunning moves.
its just breaking me.

251006

2006-10-11T23:44:00.000+08:00

you take a leap,
and end up in a ditch.

to be stopped short.
the DUDS.

111006

2006-10-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

its a ditched effort.
spot on!
that smile once again.
rightio!
the act's not working.
hot potato!
dont believe anything.
you fool!

~
dont want to,
harbour these;
feelings of-
unwantedness.
one sided like,
its such a joke.
to you.
all hail the heartbreaker

and you dont even realise it,
do you?
do you?
do you?

if only,
you would just
ANSWER ME
for once.

-
comment box now open.
leave an opinion?

091006

2006-10-07T15:24:00.000+08:00

you talked to me
:)

and its still you.

071006

2006-09-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

only you can make me smile like that,
favourite boy. (:
thats why its forever.

well, its time to forget you.
operation forget-him.
attempt #1.

270906

2006-09-24T01:39:00.000+08:00

oh hey.
its over.

230906

2006-09-21T21:31:00.000+08:00

'Come back', she pleaded, silently in her heart. But all she could do, was to stand there and watch him walk away. The mild swagger in his gait, it took all she had to remain standing.

It was all imaginary. He did not mean to be cruel. Her icy exterior made him belive she was ok. Her calm facade led him to think they were on the same wavelength. Little did he know. How would he have known, anyway? He believed himself to be a nice guy. She believed it too.

She just wanted an excuse to make him the bad one. Anything to heal her broken heart. He walked off, leaving her standing there alone. As he rounded the corner, her legs gave way, and she crumpled in an unsightly heap on the floor.

No tears fell. She had cried enough of them. Her heart was numb to this feeling, already. There was only one other who had broken her heart so, but at this point of time, it did not matter. There was only one for her. And he had just walked himself out of her life.

-
fb (:
tbss ):

210906

2006-09-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

"And, pray tell me, who is she?" she spat out, her dark orbs blazing with anger. You could almost feel the heat radiating off her, her anger comming in thick black waves. Her glare could have singed the hair off your face, she was one person you would not ever want to cross.
He, however, made the mistake. Now, her fury was turned onto him. She stood there, awaiting his response. To the onlookers, they would have expected him to be cowering in fear. Much to their surprise, but none to hers, he smirked at her.
"Just someone more important than you, babe."
And her heart broke inside, though her facade did not change. She hissed at him, her glare becomming more violent than you would have thought possible, "Bullshit." Turning her back on him, she strode off, as dignified as she could, through the masses of people in the thumping club.

160906

2006-09-08T21:10:00.000+08:00

not today, i guess.
probably not tomorrow, too.

intense.

yes,
you'll be favourite boy forever.
:)

080906

2006-09-04T20:50:00.000+08:00

TEE HEE HEE.

dont ask.

040906

2006-09-03T17:50:00.000+08:00

TALK ABOUT CONFUSED.

0445 hug.
04 present.
02 go awww.
01 goes huh?
01 unknown.

my only reaction is :
huh?
=D
huh?
=D

but if you're going to enjoy,
so am i.
just that i wont forget.

030906

2006-08-21T18:24:00.000+08:00

you're the only thing that makes sense.
my heart still jumps,
at the sound of your name.

you dont always get what you want.

just one more chance.
to make my point.

i still want my explanation.

210806

2006-08-19T12:14:00.000+08:00

'so how's it going between you and him?'
'what do you think?'
'i dont know, you tell me.'
'-_-;;'
uh. dont ask obvious questions.
i dont tend to answer them.

give it to me!

190806

2006-08-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

oh bugger.

i cant wait for 220806.

180806

2006-08-16T18:41:00.000+08:00

'i cannot pretend.'

give me a needle and thread.
i'll sew back my heart.

give it another day.
year month or week.

i just hope its not on repeat.
its approaching two years.
i just hope this isnt playback.

give me another poem.
another one, soon.
we'll write on in the sun.
where's my favourite writer?
your editor's getting bored.

thanks for your care.
its been a relief,
for a cough that doesnt seem to recover.

not another repeat.

160806

2006-08-14T19:42:00.000+08:00

do i really let others control my happiness? i dont know. it seems like a fact to me now. am i really all that clingy? im happy when others are down. and when everything seems to be going great for others, im upset. maybe i think too much of myself, but it seems everytime im happy for prolonged periods, more people come to me with their sob stories. then i feel bad for being all happy. not that i mind, or that i want others to be sad while im happy. its just that, for once, cant we all be happy?
not to say that im depressed and suicidal. its all rather stupid, actually. but live life each day as it comes. if you're gonna die, then you're gonna die. not like you have much choice. yea, it may be sad and all cause you havnt lived your full life and explored everything you want. but i repeat again. not like you have much choice. so why fear death. i know my parents do. they dont want to die. they think dying is bad. you can tell by their defensive attitude. adults, and yet, still kids.
im really glad that hardly no one reads this blog. can tell by the way the counter hardly jumps. the only constant reader i know is michael. dont really care about the others. im an open book. everyone knows that. good or bad, i dont really know. im way past caring. it feels better to have all these stuff out in the open. but what they say, letting your guard down and showing your insecurities is just another give away point for your enemys to attack.
im not bulletproof. none of us are. your mask may be bulletproof. but you know them protective vests, the impact still hurts you. but you'll get up again. this whole thing is affecting me worse than i want to, and i just refuse to let myself recover. who am i deluding? no one but myself. its taking over, and like a sickness you dont want to recover from, its getting worse. another name would be escapism.
really need to start studying for promos. there's no drive, no motivation. no reason for me to promote. you tell me, to go on to the next year, take your a levels. but, im going, so what? i cant imagine myself doing a's. and what would come after that? i dont know. can i just pull out my hair? its fustrating. i dont even want to study at all. totally dont care attitude.
im diverging. the reason why i set up this blog last year was so i could have a safe place to store my random thoughts. like when i thought of cool words or interesting words hidden somewhere in my vocabulary, i would be able to jot them down. turns out, this has become a blog for my emotions. with love struck and depressive poems/wannabe poems. it reeks of desperation. and you can smell it miles away.

im out of here. drop me a note, so i know someone cares.

140806

2006-08-12T14:35:00.000+08:00

its clear that you dont care.
dont care at all.

excuse me while i wipe my runny nose.
and brush away the tears.

all the signs are there.
its just, why?

dont leave me behind.
like your forgottten toy.

120806

2006-08-09T20:03:00.000+08:00

that hug made me smile the whole day.
how many more can i expect?
one, two, no more?
it only comes in the middle of the night.

will it be another month or two before i see you again?
please dont forget me.

the only reason i go is to see you.
at least this time was not in vain.

crossing my fingers.

another thread of paperthin hope.
HOPE.

happy national day, anyway.

090806

2006-08-06T15:47:00.000+08:00

want to take a peek?
into my demented mind?

AH FUCK IT.
FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND.

im driving myself crazy.

-

2006-08-06T15:40:00.000+08:00

repeat this mantra:
he does not care. give up.

its called,
respecting what he wants.

so like what they say:
action reaction.

i'll keep my distance,
if thats what it'll take to make you happy.

itsgoingtokillme.
-

2006-08-06T13:51:00.000+08:00

Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight.
But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow, somehow.
I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all, oh at all.
I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel,
Every time you're here.
Your words are cold, and the season is too,
The comfort in your voice is gone.
Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,
This idle hour just wont pass.
I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,
Didn't think you'd feel so far away.
I'm thinking of your vague reply,
So I can understand,
Tell me how this is fair
Yeah I hold my breath and wait for you..
I'd stay awake and fret just for you
You said hold on everything will be okay
I've been confused, why can't we just run away?
Oh, how could I survive without your love,
and the hope you bring?

is this too much?

-DLD lyric compliation.

060806

2006-07-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

i miss you loads.
please say you miss me too.

my heart has broken into bits.

open book.

290706

2006-07-23T20:39:00.001+08:00

too late for me.

excuse me,
im off to the bathroom.
sit on them sofas.
where girls cry their hearts out-
to friends.
while i-
its an alone thing.

nursing a broken heart.
how cliche.

a word i have tried not to say in a long time.
im past caring.

FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND!!

230706

2006-07-16T21:39:00.000+08:00

touch a better f***
break another heart

mixed signals
amublance sirens

sirens song?

i always knew you love/d her.

another word of condolence.
its like air.
in one out another.

oh hey! do you remember me?
that childhood friend of yours.
we sat on the swings.
kicking our legs.
we were all but one.
and i still remember your name.
though, no idea of your whereabouts.
drop me a mail someday.
i know your address.

stalker.

not much time left.
make up your mind.
before its too late.
not for me.
not for you.
but for us.
next week.

goodbye.

160706

2006-06-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

i put my money down.
hold me up at gunpoint.
lets take the train.
for dinner at the other side.

if you missed me
as much as i did
leave me a note
and rake the leaves.

its more productive
listening
rather, holding your hand
contemplate.

revive
analyse.
can someone?
analyse. analyse.

please. be colour blind.
of i know of someone who is.
and now im reminded again.
stab me inbetween my toes.

stop bleeding toe.
the drip drop stop
and i cant stop
the self inflicted.

two one, one oh.
fourninetwothree.
maybe i'll be lucky
this time around.

analyse.

dont appear weak.
hold it up.
and cry on the inside.
give a fake smile.

more to say
more to run
more to cry
no more no more.

hold up the mask.
the show's about to start.
you're the star performer.
everything must be perfect.

290606

2006-06-07T12:23:00.000+08:00

rose tinted glasses
a shaded spot under the tree
you're picture perfect.
im blinded.

thanks for the cold shower.

070606

2006-06-02T17:59:00.000+08:00

you're everywhere
im nowhere.

LAYING OFF THE DRUGS.
see you next month.

020606

2006-05-28T19:49:00.000+08:00

neurotic.
help!

280506